A sunny Wednesday morning,
27th of July 1994,
marks the birth of a baby nicknamed RCT,
the best ever writer, the world is ever going to see.
Well at least that’s what I would regard my birthday as. :D
There was I ending my first year of my degree, waiting for my results.
The long summer holidays passed by in an instant and I started my second year on a rather sombre note.
Sem 1 of my 2nd year in engineering flew by and right about the end of the semester, 2016 started.
For all the shit that has happened over the years
from the emotional distress I put myself into and YES..
The weight gain and all inclusive..
I thought to myself. I wanted to make a change.
"Change
will not come
if we wait
for some other person
or some other time.
if we wait
for some other person
or some other time.
We are the ones
we've been waiting for.
We are the
change
that we seek. "
- Barack Obama
that we seek. "
- Barack Obama
Have you ever sat down by yourself, thinking how old you are getting, slowly, day by day
and how you have not really achieved much in life?
 |
| The end part was snipped in line with the G rating guidelines of this blog hahaha |
Will you have settled in life (with a car and house probably) ?
Will you have met the girl of your dreams by then?
Questions of which I don’t really have answers to. But somehow deep inside..
With the age factor kicking in,
I surely feel the urge to at least map out a simple framework for all this and much more.
Guess that’s what they call being matured truly means.
 |
| Quick note to thyself and those who are concerned. |
from the quiet reserved me, into something a little more of the old me from the past.
You know.
The happy go lucky guy. (so I was, I presume in my head. )
In order to do that, I went all out, joining more that 10++ (It was way too many.. I lost count.)
events in one semester, (FYI.. A semester only has 14 weeks)
mostly organising faculty events and other events under various societies.
Got a shot at being an emcee after about two years (for an event under IEMSS UTHM)
since the time when I used to do it every single day during roll call as the Head Prefect at school.
 |
| We were actually working as pairs, but too bad I didnt get a photo with my partner that day. T.T |
 |
| And well.. I also got married to Xiao Ling to fulfil my interracial marriage plan (though only for an video assignment). Maybe someday it will turn to reality.. hahaha #Practice #DreamBig |
The change over the years has certainly taken its toll and sent deep lying scars on my personality.
 |
| The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask. Behind every mask there is a face and behind that a story. |
(The one thing I thought I used to be good at some time ago. )
It just doesn’t make any sense to me anymore.
Flirting, being friendly or whatsoever you would like to call it.
My focus was always on getting the job done. At whatever the cost.
There was quite a big issue with that though.
People thought that I was way too reserved and quiet, that I can’t really make a real good leader.
Different people have different management styles and to me, I prefer one that is low key.
NO hu haa nothing. I share my thoughts and ideas on how I want things to happen
and I trust people by my side to perform with me on reaching our common goals.
I am more of a hands on person. I never liked instructing people.
I never liked to be put in as a special place as a big manager and tell my comrades to do all the work.
I show them how its done and ask them to follow right up with me together to get it done.
There is no need to micromanage everything for if that happens, it is only you who learn.
Let the people under you make decisions. You just give them an opinion as to whether it is right or not.
Let them make mistakes so that everyone learns a thing or two
and its not the same old race horse running with the same old wagon.
SAD.
Indeed. People always go for the loud, noisy ones
who most often just push all the workload to the people directly under them
and take credit for every single thing that went right. Hmmm
Such an opportunistic world we live in….
Years I spent doing things in the background without fail for a certain organisation
but its somehow funny that they want to stab you at the back when you just slacken up a bit.
It takes a lot of trust to be working by my side.
Funny how you asked my assistant ( who is also my best buddy) to betray me and take up my spot.
All you could have done is called me up and talk to settle the issue that was amiss. Hmm
Its so awkward to talk to people that you know wanted to pull you down.
I suppose they don't really know I knew this much.
Its utterly disgusting when they talk to you all so nicely as though nothing ever happened.
Somehow I feel all the effort I put into making something grow, suddenly feel all so worthless now. T . T
Guess I was dumbfounded once again, years after...
Guess professionalism is not something that comes hand in hand with a doctorate..
*COUGH.. COUGH.. I REALLY HOPE YOU READ THIS.. COUGH.. COUGH... *
Anyways, on the Bright side,
there were many things that I’ve learnt
of which I will certainly carry on with and definitely put to good use.
 |
Something I learnt about people, If they do it once, they will do it again.
|
“People always go like.. Man.. Go get yourself a mentor..
Look up to someone.. Get a motivator.. An adviser..
But when you look up…
All u see is a giant foot trying to step on you…
Or a giant butt hole waiting to remove
all the contents of its bowel filled with advice right on your face... “ -Rct
#PulutOfTheDay
But when you look up…
All u see is a giant foot trying to step on you…
Or a giant butt hole waiting to remove
all the contents of its bowel filled with advice right on your face... “ -Rct
#PulutOfTheDay
WELL.
Guess I’ve ran way off my age/birthday topic here..
22.
Guess I’ve ran way off my age/birthday topic here..
22.
 |
| Well. If its only about her songs then I guess its still okay hahahah |
Age is just a number I’d like to tell myself.
There are certainly many more things to go after and chase in life.
#ChasingBiggerDreams
This was one of the things that kept me going throughout the year till today.
No matter how shitty the situations were,
all I wanted to do was stay calm as because I put myself in that place to learn.
Not make enemies or be involved in a battle of egos.
 |
| GO AFTER DREAMS NOT PEOPLE - As quoted by my biggest crush of the year. Hope you read this and know that you were being "crushed" on... hmm too bad ur already taken.(i guess). T . T |
Okay okay..
Back to talking about my age/birthday.
This same time next year.. (somewhere around my birthday in July I mean)
I don’t really know in what shape and condition I’ll be in.
right after completing the third year of my degree..
Local or overseas, Oil and gas, automotive or production line..
Thoughts have also been wildly drifting these past few months as to whether
engineering was really meant for me.
 |
| Its tooooo lateeeeeeeeeeeee... |
Oh well.. You don’t cross a river and stop halfway through.
A lot of questions… Zero answers. Guess the blanks are to be filled as time passes by..
There are many things I am looking forward to this next 12 months when I am going on 23.
As always, there was quite a number of people who asked a couple of months back.
“What do you want for your birthday? “
Well..
To be honest.. I’m not so interested in what the gift is.. It’s the thought that counts. :)
Though I always like something that I can remember of the person…
Something that last longer than say ice cream..
( cc TO THOSE WHO TALKED ABOUT GETTING ICE CREAM. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.. )
Anyways..
I never really ask for much in life.
But when there was one thing that I wanted so much to be a part of my life,
eluded me, like how the Indians say it like
"கண் தூங்கும் நேரம் பார்த்து கடவுள் வந்து போவதுபோல்"
I never really ask for much in life.
But when there was one thing that I wanted so much to be a part of my life,
eluded me, like how the Indians say it like
"கண் தூங்கும் நேரம் பார்த்து கடவுள் வந்து போவதுபோல்"
“When god came in front of you when you were sleeping”
(seriously makes more sense in tamil)..
Since then, I stopped wishing and praying lots for things to happen..
(seriously makes more sense in tamil)..
Since then, I stopped wishing and praying lots for things to happen..
Will come to you…
*If your intentions are right..
With that said..
I just feel that a few things can
be a little better in the year to come…
FRIENDS
To be honest. I really could use some new ones.
Not that the old ones are not good, it’s just that when you meet new people,
there is always something that you can learn about.
The type of people who have a vision, an idea, encouraging words,
that’s the type of people I want to meet and rub shoulders with.
Sometimes, when I look back,
I used to have a lot of people that I know and were friends of mine.
that’s the type of people I want to meet and rub shoulders with.
Sometimes, when I look back,
I used to have a lot of people that I know and were friends of mine.
Then came one point in life, that something happened and I was very cautious in making new friends.
I must say, I’ve been involving myself in a lot of reading these past few years
especially on psychology and body language from which I have
developed a strong sense of intuition deep inside whereby when I meet new people,
I will get a preemptive vision of who they really are and their intentions,
many of which was spot on.
Hence, I stay away when I get this negative vibe.
It takes a lot of knowing before I grow trust on anyone.
I must say, I’ve been involving myself in a lot of reading these past few years
especially on psychology and body language from which I have
developed a strong sense of intuition deep inside whereby when I meet new people,
I will get a preemptive vision of who they really are and their intentions,
many of which was spot on.
Hence, I stay away when I get this negative vibe.
It takes a lot of knowing before I grow trust on anyone.
So. To make good friends, it is kind of difficult (to put it in the simplest of terms.)
My circle of friends is small and I guess, I SHOULD relax a little and make it just a tad bigger.
MAYBE is not strong enough of a word to use apparently. Hahah
STUDIES AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Well.. Coming out of Form 6 with a below average result was something that I really regretted a lot.
I always had a dream of studying in Singapore but I kind of messed it up big time in Form 6..
so well.. I guess I’ll save that dream for my postgrad studies if any.
 |
| I'll find you one day... and take a picture with you... hahahahaha |
Anyways.
On the bright side... I ended up at UTHM...
UTHM is the kind of place I really wanted to be.
A university trying to make a name for itself..
A lot more hands on work.... A lot more opportunities to blossom...
Awesome lecturers....
What more can I ask for....
Thank god for making me come to this wonderful place.
And yeah. I worked a little harder in the first few semester of my degree
and landed myself a PSD's scholarship.
Guess that’s something really big for a person like me.
But rather somehow, going back and analysing, running through
all the previous semesters from being involved in events and what not,
there wasn’t really much that I learnt as a skill I’d say
(I say this because most of the things I do in events
from planning to execution, crowd control, communication
and whatever not, I’ve done before when I was in Form 6.)
so yeah. It was like a repeat of everything.
Just that the people who you deal here with are lecturers not teachers. :)
Coming into the third year of my degree,
from my perspective is where you take a gamble to make the right decision for the future.
There have been thoughts as to whether would I still be involved in engineering
once I graduate, will I be working in the industrial side of it,
will I jump ship straight into the business side of things,
will I be involved in postgrad studies and probably end up
as a researcher/ lecturer, could I really teach?
Man these questions makes me go nuts on some days.
The first sem of 3rd year really caught me off balance way too many times..
It was certainly an eye opener...
So far, in the past 2 years,
in a semester, there will always be a plateau at the beginning, the rise, the peak, and the ending.
THIS SEMESTER WAS AN EXCEPTION..
IT WAS THE RISE, RISE EVEN HIGHER, TINGGI, TINGGI LAGI, TINGGI GILA GILA LAGI
You keep on telling yourself it will come to a peak and end, but it never did..
To the point that we were still doing some of
those assignments even till the end of the first week of exams. Ughhhhhhh
Well... Almost halfway through the exams...
I cant wait to get through the another half too... :)
Somehow...
one thing is for sure.
In the next two years (less than that now) that I have,
I would really like to explore more on the hands on skills and tricks
of being an engineering student that will make me stand out from the rest.
Things from CAD/CAE software expertise, being involved in part of a research,
national or international competitions..
You know the type of things that challenge you to put what you learn to practice.
Grades don’t really matter to me no more.
As long as the CGPA is higher that 3.00
(as what the scholarship requires) I’m more than happy enough.
(PS.. I really hate exams in uni. The ones who memorize well. Can get an A.
But ask them to do a brief explanation on the working principle of something,
maybe a small review paper on it, they go blank, and poof…IMPLODE.. )
A place to grow my knowledge.
A place where nobody judges.
A place where I can really show off my talent.
That is exactly what I am looking for right now.
Through that, I guess I can show my real true potential,
for there are many doubters that I think
need to see how wrong they were underestimating me.
all the previous semesters from being involved in events and what not,
there wasn’t really much that I learnt as a skill I’d say
(I say this because most of the things I do in events
from planning to execution, crowd control, communication
and whatever not, I’ve done before when I was in Form 6.)
so yeah. It was like a repeat of everything.
Just that the people who you deal here with are lecturers not teachers. :)
Coming into the third year of my degree,
from my perspective is where you take a gamble to make the right decision for the future.
There have been thoughts as to whether would I still be involved in engineering
once I graduate, will I be working in the industrial side of it,
will I jump ship straight into the business side of things,
will I be involved in postgrad studies and probably end up
as a researcher/ lecturer, could I really teach?
Man these questions makes me go nuts on some days.
It was certainly an eye opener...
So far, in the past 2 years,
in a semester, there will always be a plateau at the beginning, the rise, the peak, and the ending.
THIS SEMESTER WAS AN EXCEPTION..
IT WAS THE RISE, RISE EVEN HIGHER, TINGGI, TINGGI LAGI, TINGGI GILA GILA LAGI
 |
| Fluid, y u likedis? |
You keep on telling yourself it will come to a peak and end, but it never did..
To the point that we were still doing some of
those assignments even till the end of the first week of exams. Ughhhhhhh
 |
| Motivation for all those who still have to put up with the finals #Fighting |
Well... Almost halfway through the exams...
I cant wait to get through the another half too... :)
Somehow...
one thing is for sure.
In the next two years (less than that now) that I have,
I would really like to explore more on the hands on skills and tricks
of being an engineering student that will make me stand out from the rest.
Things from CAD/CAE software expertise, being involved in part of a research,
national or international competitions..
You know the type of things that challenge you to put what you learn to practice.
 |
| So this is my first imaginary consultancy company that I am part of. hahah #GoSolidModelling |
 |
| or maybe things even bigger? Who knows..... |
Grades don’t really matter to me no more.
As long as the CGPA is higher that 3.00
(as what the scholarship requires) I’m more than happy enough.
(PS.. I really hate exams in uni. The ones who memorize well. Can get an A.
But ask them to do a brief explanation on the working principle of something,
maybe a small review paper on it, they go blank, and poof…IMPLODE.. )
A place to grow my knowledge.
A place where nobody judges.
A place where I can really show off my talent.
That is exactly what I am looking for right now.
Through that, I guess I can show my real true potential,
for there are many doubters that I think
need to see how wrong they were underestimating me.
FINDING ME, MYSELF
Well, as I said earlier at the top of this post. It has been sometime since I lost my old self.
Somewhere between growing
up, trying to pick up adult responsibilities,
trying to fend and live for myself, truth be said,
I think I have changed way too much to go back to who I was,
I guess time has come for me to move forward and find myself a new me.
trying to fend and live for myself, truth be said,
I think I have changed way too much to go back to who I was,
I guess time has come for me to move forward and find myself a new me.
The foundations of a positive mindset has been laid down quite extensively in
2016,
and to be honest it was a big victory for myself I would say. (although progress was slow).
2017 will be a year where I need to make all of what I have count and make a big statement.
and to be honest it was a big victory for myself I would say. (although progress was slow).
2017 will be a year where I need to make all of what I have count and make a big statement.
 |
| Ba dum tssssssssssssssssss hahahahahah |
I guess, the best way of going forward, is to go back, find what was wrong and fix it in the present.
And well. With going back in time not possible just yet,
 |
The what ifs are more messed up in this theory than there ever is anywhere else.
|
I guess going back to people, friends who were there, could just make the cut.
A small catch up of sorts to it could be, a list of endless possibilities it could bring.
And well…
All through that,
I guess I getting back into shape also be one of those things high on the priority list.
 |
| Weawy??? (another way of saying really) |
Going back to this is gonna take a lot of effort... but I guess its gonna be something worthwhile doing.
 |
| The old me.. The carefree, fitness enthusiast. #OldPhoto #MacamYesTapiBukan |
Moving on,
travelling has been slowing becoming a keen interest of mine.
Though the thickness of the wallet sometimes just doesn’t approve of it. Hmm.
travelling has been slowing becoming a keen interest of mine.
Though the thickness of the wallet sometimes just doesn’t approve of it. Hmm.
 |
I kid you not... Sponges don't lie...
|
Somehow I prefer
solo travelling.
Maybe 2017 might be kind enough to accommodate my dreams..
hahahah
maybe I'd even might get the girl of my dreams
to accompany me with all the crazy endeavours of mine. :D
And well..Maybe 2017 might be kind enough to accommodate my dreams..
hahahah
maybe I'd even might get the girl of my dreams
to accompany me with all the crazy endeavours of mine. :D
yup…..
there might have been some
who have wondered why I haven’t talked
about getting a new girlfriend yet…
 |
| Oh well. How would I know? |
There are some..
Things...
People...
Moments....
That no matter how much we try..
We can never get back to.. "
-Rct
#想你的夜 PlayingInTheBackGround
#PulutFeels
There were things that I was too attached to (to put it in the most simplest of ways)
but I think moving on was pretty hard for
I was certainly a very emotional person to begin with.
Almost 6 years on, when you look back, it still hurts deep inside.
But a little less as the days pass by.
As I always say, Some memories will be forever. :)
Though I lost a big part of who I thought I was back then,
since that day, I've grown quite a lot in terms of my thoughts and actions.
and well... I guess I finally learnt to reason why it was never meant to be that way..
In a way... I am very much indebted to her for what this blog represents...
The writer that I never knew I could be,
was at first inspired by her words of encouragement... :)(Hopefully someday I might have a chance to say
that to her face to face.... SOMEDAY.. ) hmm.. :)
 |
| “...and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...” |
and this quote by Plato is one that comes to mind
every time when people ask why I am not attached to anyone just yet...
Oh well... I guess..
 |
I might have to wait, I'll never give up.... I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck...
Wherever you are, whenever it's right... You'll come out of nowhere and into my life... #Bublé
|
I've also come to terms that to have a person like you.
You have to be comfortable with being with you yourself first.
And well... Im working on it for the time being.Though at times I feel that she doesn’t only need to stay in my dreams
and its high time I truly wish that I can meet her in reality someday.
So till then. I am not going to rush nothing.
I am certainly going to put that time to good use by developing me, myself
to be a better person then that I was yesterday. Girls can wait. :)
IN CONCLUSION
Okay. I guess that is a long enough of a rant from a couple months of pent up thoughts.
This post has been in the draft since July 2016... revised and re-edited way too many times..
phewww...
 |
| Well.. How do you describe this? An abstract vector design? O.o |
Like every year, the last Saturday of the year is the official "GET YOUR DIARY DAY"..
and well.. Options were limited and I got one that looked out of the norm.. hahahah
 |
| Breathe.. Smile.. Believe... |
#ChasingBiggerDreams
was created.
2017 will be a year to keep calm and push on through
all that I have left unsettled and for all the new things
that I am to explore and hence I guess
#BreatheSmileBelieve
brings more meaning to everything.
And with that.. I guess...
That's about it for this time
(I just couldnt come up with a way to conclude it all in a few words) :D
So this was how my countdown
up to the new year went...
I can feel 2017 being a better year already...
#OwhTheSarcasm.
#ChasingBiggerDreams
#BreatheSmileBelieve
#PulutFeels
#PulutOf2016
all that I have left unsettled and for all the new things
that I am to explore and hence I guess
#BreatheSmileBelieve
brings more meaning to everything.
And with that.. I guess...
That's about it for this time
(I just couldnt come up with a way to conclude it all in a few words) :D
up to the new year went...
I can feel 2017 being a better year already...
#OwhTheSarcasm.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE...
Hopefully 2017
brings
quite a number
of surprises
by its own. :)
quite a number
of surprises
by its own. :)
#ChasingBiggerDreams
#BreatheSmileBelieve
#PulutFeels
#PulutOf2016
